Now, you guys are gunna go ahead and tell me that all of these already HAVE board games, but I’ll believe it when I hear it.
So then what I’m talking about here are clearly just games that I am not aware of, but probably have been made already due to the fact that most of them are already popular and successful IPs in their own right. Make sense? No, probably not.
So if you can imagine this, me, being a child at one point in my life. Most probably a while ago but I was a child at some point, and during that short stint as a mentally underdeveloped adult there were amazing and incredible cartoons on TV (much as there probably are still now, I just don’t know what they are any more as I don’t have children and/or am not an 8 year old). These included small babies talking to each other and causing mischief, an even smaller child concocting experiments in a secret lab whilst his sister proceeded to ruin everything, and an overly macho and womanising douchebag called Jonathon.
Now, as a way to possibly relive my youth for an unsustainable and incredibly brief period of time I have decided to revisit some of them, and also imagine how they could be made into something that more closely fits my new, more adult hobby, of board games (YES it’s an adult hobby, no need to laugh!)
1. Pinky & The Brain
Imagine a world where 2 pesky rodents where always on the verge of becoming the leaders of a borderline fascist dictatorship. THIS is the world of Pinky and the Brain. Now, if you havn’t seen it, I’ll simply explain it this way. One very smart mouse plots to take over the world yet is always inevitably foiled by his unfortunately stupid companion. Presumably Pinky just wanted to feel like he wasn’t being left out but the lesson here was that you shouldn’t be nice to dumb people just because they want to be part of your plans for world domination. That’s a surefire way to failure my friend, much as The Brain learnt repeatedly across a 10 minute slot of our Saturday morning TV programming.
Good moral lesson there though clearly.
Basically, I just want a 2 player board game that has you team up to execute a plan to conquer the world. It would play out as scenarios, involve a Sherlock: Consulting Detective level of investigating and planning, and culminate in you either taking over the world or failing miserably.
2. Dexter’s Laboratory
A wonderful fan favourite for those lucky kids that had Cartoon Network. For the rest of us, we just had to have sleepovers at friends houses and binge on Dexters Laboratory for 8 hours before heading back to the basic terrestrial TV selection at home. Oh, what a tough life! How dare our parents deprive us of the deeply educational nature of having access to a 24 hour cartoon channel. How dare they indeed!
Dexters Lab for those of you who don’t know, involved a tiny boy who was a science genius, having everything ruined by his annoying sister. Not dissimilar to the setup for Pinky and The Brain if I’m honest.
Imagine this; a game where you all play Dexter or one of his scientist friends, concocting experiments and robots to rid the world of an evil genius boy super villain. Except one of the players is secretly Dee Dee, and plots to ruin all of the experiments, taking sides with the boy super villain for some super important reason like ‘he was really cute’ or something equally ‘Dee Dee’. Way to gender stereotype 90s cartoons.
3. Ed, Edd n Eddy
Sticking with the Cartoon Network (or maybe Nickolodeon) shows here, Ed, Edd n Eddy sees 3 idiot friends do dumb boy stuff and get away with it for the most part. It’s one of those shows where the parents are always too tall to fit on the cameras, their heads in the clouds and their ominous yet friendly voices resounding from the heavens. Go go gadget appealing to the key demographic!
Wouldn’t it be great to have a simple card game though, everybody plays an ‘Ed’, and competes with each other to build or construct the most ridiculous prank or contraption, before inevitably getting grounded. Last person standing without being grounded wins!
See, I never watched the rugrats much but I felt obliged to add them to this list simply for their cartoon pedigree. It was a staple of any 90s kid’s cartoon diet. A look into the minds and lives of small babies who each have very distinct and unique personalities and characteristics reminiscent of a sitcom. Or maybe even a soap opera for that matter. I can hear the them song in my head as I write this (also pretty sure 90% of kids from the 90s can play it on piano).
This game though is about a group of children being left alone or getting lost in various locations, and having to work together as a team to figure out how to get back to your parents. Cue typical traitor mechanic, cue etc etc.
Either that or you just all compete as babies in the baby ring to become baby king. Seems pretty cool.
5. Powerpuff Girls
Last but by no means least we have the classic and unforgettable power puff girls. Featuring no other than the best named bad guy in all of Cartoon history (don’t quote me on that)… Mojo Jojo.
So basically, you’re telling me the story is a guy who was sad about… something, biologically engineered 3 super human and superhero children, to you know, comfort him in life and also take on the worlds most notorious criminal and super villain, a giant green monkey with a funny name.
Cool! Got it. Totally on board.
Maybe the board game for this would involve hidden movement, one person plays Mojo Jojo secretly moving around some… place, crime scene or something. He is trying to steal the secret key for something important or where there is a lot of money, and you; the Powerpuff Girls, are working together (using your powers) to find Mojo Jojo and stop him before it’s too late!
Sounds pretty good to me.