You have been Waylaid by Enemies (an ode to Baldur’s Gate)

“A den of STINKING EVIL. Cover your nose Boo! We will leave no crevice un-touched!”

I’ll come back to this guy later…

For me, like many others… well, maybe a few others, Baldur’s gate holds a very special place in my heart. All those times getting waylaid by enemies, pausing the game to plan out your moves before getting completely destroyed by some kobolds that came out of the woods whilst you were sleeping. Aaaaah the fond memories…

For those of you who don’t remember, Baldur’s Gate was an AD&D video game that was released in theeeee 90’s? I wanna say 90’s because I was definitely playing it on the computer at my Grandma’s house when I was like, 10 or something.

The game though holds a special place in my heart for more than a few reasons, and yep, you guessed it, I’m gunna go into those in a handy, neat little list style blog post now…

Special place in heart reason 1: The game was hard, no I mean like REALLY hard

Like, I died playing it. A lot. I mean, my character died. I didn’t die, otherwise I wouldn’t be here writing this. Or maybe I’m just a ghost writing it from the graaaAAaaAAaaaveee… *spooky noises*

10 year old me saw this screen way too many times…

The fact that it was hard though meant that I literally ended up playing it forever. So it has a special place just by virtue of the sheer HOURS I spent, staring at a CRT monitor, looking at tiny people casting magic spells at kobolds, and then dying… again.

Special place in heart reason 2: The opening battle was immense

When you left that first village/castle/whatever it was (candlekeep), you got caught in the night, and a wizard guy who is called… Gorion? He was called Gorion! (Says google). He tries to fend off some bad dudes who ambushed you, and the ensuing battle is, well, I’ll be honest it’s visually underwhelming by today’s standards…

But back then I thought it was the absolute shit. I wanted so bad to be a wizard that powerful. All those badly rendered opengl graphics just pulsing at my tiny pixelated fingertips!

Special place in heart reason 3: Minsc was an absolute genius of a character

You know, the guy I posted soundclips of at the start of the article. Well, he was a ranger type character, who held big weapons, and had a pet hamster. Called ‘Boo’. Obviously.

And whenever you clicked on him in the inventory screen he made a tiny little *squeek*. That was apparently all I needed for laughs back then.

For real though, he was the best.

Special place in heart reason 4: In BG2, there was  a sword  that talked, and it had CONVERSATIONS WITH  BOO

Let’s just say this, this sword was pretty ‘on edge’…

Badum tsh.

Kinda gets annoying after a while huh?

Special place in heart reason 5: It was the gateway drug to so many great RPGs

Once I had a taste, I was hooked! Ahahaha! And now I sound like that ridiculous talking sword, but with gaming not killing, obviously. I’m no murderer, the only thing I murdered was my social life by getting so heavily into video games… hah *cries in corner*.

I loved it really though, Baldur’s Gate was the first really immersive narrative driven RPG game that I had played, and I couldn’t wait to play more. It got me interested in D&D, and involved in tons of geeky shit that people definitely bullied me for, but I’m fully proud of that. It was a shaper of my childhood.

Samurai

Was not a class in Baldur’s Gate, nor was it a good play on words of ‘summary’. Poor show there Chris, poor show.

Oh well, back to the roleplaying and social isolation then. Sure!

“Butt-kicking for goodness!”

Yours roleplayingly,

Chris

Life is a Double Edged Sword

Have you ever done something where you immediately realised that the decision you made was the wrong one.

If you havn’t then, well, you must be a robot I guess? Some sort of amazing decision maker who only makes the exact right decision, I worship you almighty lord of correct and timely decisions. You are my god now…

Most people call this ‘gut feeling’ though. I would like to call it something else… something a bit more… fantasy RPG related. It’s slightly different to gut feeling, but the physical urge is the same.

Actually it’s kind of the opposite of gut feeling, but whatever, we continue!

Tell me Chris, what is this so called Double Edged Sword you so fondly talk about…

Ok so the double edged sword is that time when you did something and then immediately regretted it. Where you acted on base impulse or intuition, and that rash decision turned immediately sour. Basically, any decision where the correct answer, was the exact opposite of what you thought it was.

Here are some hopefully relatable examples that are totally in no way related to my personal experiences at all…

The one where she says ‘it’s fine, don’t worry about it’

IMMEDIATELY WORRY ABOUT IT. This is the classic double edged sword situation. What you need to do is actually the EXACT OPPOSITE OF WHAT THOSE WORDS MEAN.

Now the main reason for putting this here is to help clarify what the ‘double edged sword’ actually is. But really though, apologise for the thing you have no idea that you did, draw a picture of a heart on a bit of paper (like Nick Offerman would do), write something nice inside, and give it to her right now.

The one where you wanted to quit because it was hard

‘It’s too hard.’

‘I just can’t do it anymore.’

This basically means you have reached the key point in any venture, hobby or misadventure, the point where the only way to be successful is to go harder than you have ever gone before, at the exact time when you feel the weakest.

You’ll most likely either come out like an absolute hero… or fail spectacularly, but isn’t that better than just giving up though? That’s what I tell myself so I can sleep at night at least…

The one where you thought messaging MORE would make them respond quicker

You know what I really love. When people send me essay messages over and over and over again, it’s great. I just never reply to anyone unless they’ve sent me 15 messages first, that’s really the threshold, THEN I’ll pay attention…

Just leave it, go and spend your time being more productive, perhaps even failing at that life goal of yours like in the previous example… Aaaah, much better…

The one where everyone watched you jump in the deep end

Because failure is a self fulfilling prophecy. The time  you believe you’re going to do a giant belly flop that ruptures many internal organs, is inevitably the time when jumping off the diving board DOES  result in severe internal rupturing. SO do yourself a favour and stop imagining yourself rupturing internally already… No, you can imagine internally, don’t imagine externally, that’s weird. Just stop the ORGAN RUPTURING train of thought. Ok, glad we cleared that up…

Great advice I’m sure though. Yep, stop worrying said the non-worrier to the worrier, I know it’s in your nature but why not stop doing the very thing your body automatically makes itself do! Easy right?

Ok maybe not.

Seriously though, just believe you can be a pro diver, and you’ll at least be borderline average. I mean, it saves the hospital trip for all those ruptured organs at least. OOOO ME KIDNEYS, they PANG something horrid.

Sum-more-ry

Give it some more! Actually, just do the opposite. Not give it less… I mean do the ACTUAL opposite. That’s what the article is about! So maybe instead of finishing this article I’ll just stop writing instead. Seems the reasonable thing to do.

Logic!

Sort of…

Yours weapon-rily

Chris

 

Dungeons & Dragons: How to Create Memorable NPCs

The party was scattered across the room and as the floor began to cave in, we watched  in disbelief as one of the demon hounds pounced straight towards Dave, knocking his sword out of his hand and sending him flying across the floor, towards the rapidly opening chasm. As the sword clattered to the wall, Dave struggled, frantically grabbing for any sort of purchase as he careened towards the edge of the chasm that had been created. The hole  that had opened up had  seemingly no bottom, and Dave clung by one hand, on the edge of certain death.

As I saw this all unfold a rush of adrenaline coursed through me, and for a second I forgot my wounds and the enemies surrounding us, and made a final, impassioned leap towards the struggling and  helpless Dave; “I bloody ‘ate ‘ights,” he muttered as I slid in desperation to grab his hand .

You roll a 3…

Dave grabs onto you, but his grip is weaker than you expect. Slowly his hand begins to slip through your fingers.  Letting go now would be fatal .

He falls…

An ode to Dave…

Dave was the best D&D NPC I ever  created. He had everything, and everyone in the party had a connection with this bumbling idiot of a cockney guardsman.

Dave taught me a lot about good character writing, what they should have, and what not to do when creating NPCs in D&D or any other tabletop roleplaying system.

Lesson 1: Give them their own goals

To make a character believable they have to have their own aims, their own dreams and their own goals. This could be bigger or dependant on the situation. Who knows what Dave wanted to do! I mean I did, I was the DM so that seems like a reasonable assumption…

These might also not be immediately apparent. It wouldn’t be natural if Dave just burst into the room exclaiming “What’s going on here I’m trying to find my son because I heard a commotion and havn’t seen him since a couple of days ago and thought he might be in here but really I’m kind of concerned for him in general, he’s been acting up recently and started to come down with a strange illness before I saw him last and I’m really worried… errr, hi!”

Let the players discover these subtleties themselves, and allow yourself to develop the character in an ongoing fashion in the context of the actions of the party.

Lesson 2: Give them their own insecurities

Again, an introduction of “Hi, my name’s Dave and I’m worried that I’m actually not a great parent, my wife left me 2 years ago and I’ve been looking after my son for the week but I can’t find him anywhere. I’m kinda going through some stuff right now and don’t feel overly confident in my career either,” is probably not really appropriate…

Either something obvious like this, or you could create an absolute douchebag NPC who is actually just masking his anxiety with awkward bravado, or to outwardly prove  himself before asking out one of the party on a date mid encounter. I mean you have to be comfortable with role playing this character obviously but I see no reason not too. The best way to create awkwardness in game is to have it in real life right…? RIGHT?

Lesson 3: Give them their own moral outlook, and let that develop

Inevitably, if you’ve written a good campaign, the players will be faced with moral and ethical dilemmas where there may not be a ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ decision, but rather 2 or more muddled, slightly ambiguous options. Killing ‘Fluffy the Bunny Tyrant overlord’ may be the right thing to do for the society of fluffy bunnies, but if that’s the case, you’re still gunna have to kill a cute bunny…

Now to really up the NPC game, if there are situations where not only the players weigh in on these decisions, but the NPCs the party is attached too also react based on their own moral and ethical compass, then you have created the perfect situation to develop empathy and humility with your players towards the NPC (or a realisation that the person they befriended may not be as innocent as they once appeared).

The key thing here is giving the NPC an element of humanity. The mere sight of bunny dictator ‘Fluffy’ may send your socialist NPC into a wild blood rage where he lashes out and decapitates the furry creature. This may not sit well with  your adventuring party of animal lovers and AETA supporters (Adventurers for the Ethical Treatment of Animals).

Certainly creates an interesting story twist though!

Lesson 4: Give them empathy, even if they are evil

Lastly for this article, and not leastly, is to give the NPCs empathy. And yes, EVEN if they are ABSOLUTELY AND ABHORRENTLY EVIL. In fact, it might be even more important for the evil NPCs.

No one in the world thinks they are the bad guy. Living things are more complex, as should be the characters that you create for your world. For the most part, there is always a reason for behaviour, actions or emotions. This can come in the form of a villain trying to save his true love despite having committed horrendous crimes to ensure they stayed together, or in my case, Dave’s growing agitation and concern for his son as he slowly descended into a frantic and distraught liability the longer he adventured with the party.

Sam-mery…

…would be the name of this section if I was talking about an NPC called ‘Sam’, but I’m not soooo this doesn’t really make much sense…

ANYWAY

What I’m trying to say with this piece is really just that the NPCs that you create, and the ones that are truly memorable, have as their foundation those core aspects of humanity; morality, humility and empathy. Once the party can relate, understand or discover these aspects of a character, and the beliefs and reasons behind the actions and behaviour of their companion, or the barkeep, or whoever, they will begin to establish a deeper connection subconsciously.

Yours character-fully,

Chris

Top Tabletop & Board Game Kickstarter Mistakes

We all love kickstarter, it’s incredible, empowering and creating a movement like no other in the industry of tabletop board games. But there are some worrying mistakes happening, and I’d like to go through them in my rambling, badly written style… so here goes!

Hopefully this doesn’t just come across as a hate list either. Which is totally a real thing by the way…

Anyway, some things to avoid when creating  tabletop projects on kickstarter:

#1: Looking the same as everything else

Now don’t get me  wrong some of the art on these games is incredible. It’s lovely and wonderful and dare I say it… BEAUTIFUL. And I hate even using that word, it’s a dirty word sullied by the product analogies of generic hipster startup companies who all describe their design and products as beauuuutiful. Everything is beautiful apparently. As long as it’s made of wood and has LOTS of white space. Sure.

What is worrying though is that because of the checklist style of successful kickstarter campaigns, people who start new campaigns are potentially blind to the idea that doing something different might actually work out BETTER than just copying the same old style that everyone else uses.

BUT it’s not gunna sell surely! Hey, don’t ask me, but don’t berate me either when your [insert genre here] game didn’t succeed even though you shoe horned generic RPG illustrations in and made sure to describe your game as BEAUTIFUL.

#2: Not explaining what the actual game is

People loose interest really fast these days. Most people have probably stopped reading this article, which basically means I can say whatever I want from now on!

Hahaa you suck, I hate every one of you!

Wait, you’re still here? Err, ok yeah that was totally a joke. Joking. Badum tsh?

I mean back story is back story, and themes are themes, but please tell us a brief overview of what the actual game is before launching into an epic 20 minute piece about the ‘valiant plight of bobby the bunny rabbit warlock  on his quest for immaculate tailoring.’ Although that does sound pretty fun…

It’s a strange concept I know, but it seems that we’d want to first know what your game actually IS before we’re  invested enough to read the story and fluff behind it…

Get it? Bunny rabbit, fluff… no? Ok I’ll see myself out.

#3: Making it overcomplicated

Simplicity is key people! And that’s exactly the mantra I have in mind when I write my long, rambling and borderline unreadable blog posts. And people call ME a hypocrite!

Just because you like most different types of soda does not mean you should go up to the machine in the fast food joint of your choosing and proceed to fill up your  giant re-fillable cup with every single soda on the menu.  It tastes like bad decisions and brown, trust me, 10 year old me would advise against it.

Similarly, just because you enjoy survival, co-op, resource management, word games, dungeon crawlers, civilisation builders, family games and deck building card games, does not mean you should take them all and combine them into one GIGANTIC AND CONFUSING MESS. Take a small amount of something, develop it, do it well, prove that it works, and then build from there. It’s only fair on our. collective brains!

#4: Being unintentionally dull

If your campaign is the equivalent of a 4 hour powerpoint presentation about business synergies then unforunately,  that is a bad time. Well, except for the 1 guy who actually loves those things. He always asks questions at the end as well… I mean come on! We’re trying to END  this presentation, sheesh…

Sometimes though it’s really hard to know when something is boring, trust me I know. My friends would tell you this on a fairly regularly basis. I think it’s because I’m just so interesting, they can’t comprehend how amazing the conversation is and just have to leave immediately and talk to someone over the other side of the room. Believable I know.

The thing is though, human beings are PEOPLE. I know right, Duh! We need to be engaged on an emotional level, with something that’s exciting, interesting or makes us think! If you read the same story over and over it would get old right? So why make a copycat when you can introduce something entirely new, and in a captivating and engaging fashion.

I mean either that or just use a thumbnail of a cute dog with a funny caption, AMIRITE!?

Summa-read…

Y’know, because you read this article. Read not read, because the pronunciation is different? Hah… *cough*

I mean the aim of this really is to help, but how much you can take away from an optimistically cynical british man who has never run a kickstarter campaign before, commenting on what you should and shouldn’t do on the platform is debatable…

Probably could have got it down to just key points as well, without going on and on about stuff. Something like this?

  1. Do something different visually AND conceptually
  2. Explain CLEARLY what your game is and how it functions
  3. Keep it as simple and concise as possible
  4. Try to NOT be boring

Simple right? Probably not. Give it a go anyway, I know I will… eventually.

Yours boringly,

Chris

Dungeons & Dragons: The Demogorgon teaches humanity

As Dave Grohl once said; it’s times like these we learn to live again! As Dave Grohl did not once say; it’s times like these we learn to cherish the fact that  that last second healing spell actually just saved you from absolute and brutal    death as the demogorgon decided to straight up rip your face off.

You now don’t have a face though, so that’s a problem… BUT, you know what I’ve always said; “No face? No problem! It’s better than being stone cold dead at the hands of a vicious, merciless, horrific and yet genre defining D&D monster.”

Such a classic saying! Although now I’m starting to doubt myself, I mean, a face IS pretty essential to most human interaction… or, well, anything really.

So that’s settled then, I’d rather be dead. Yep. If I ever end up with no face, just kill me. I’ll let you decide the way, it’ll be a like a fun surprise.

The point here though is not that we should all be ok with not having a face, BUT rather that D&D and other tabletop role playing games are AMAZING at teaching and learning how to deal with humanity, human emotions and REAL LIFE predicaments in general.

The bit where someone else already said it way better than me…

The key analogy here for me really is that of achievement. We strive to go out with purpose and achieve something, to overcome an adversary, and like the  friends on the football field, when we played D&D or any other role playing game, that was our version of going out against a feared opponent, and overcoming that challenge victorious.

So with that in mind here are some things I have learned, from D&D, and the Demogorgon…

If you screw up you will die, but that doesn’t mean game over

Sometimes in D&D you cast fireball instead of a protection spell. Sometimes that gets unwanted attention and all too fast you are lying on the cold cobbled stones of the dungeon floor, scattered in pieces whilst your friends frantically try to  gather up all the dismembered body parts whilst simultaneously killing a giant horrifying tentacle monster with magical powers.

‘Standard day in the dungeon!’ I hear you cry!

Sure, but sometimes the dungeon is your office, and sometimes that fireball spell is a misplaced pitch, or an aggressive proposal, and sometimes your boss is the Demogorgon. Unfortunately sometimes in this situation, you die…

Thankfully though, assuming you’ve surrounded yourself with trustworthy companions, they will be able to gather up the scattered bloody dismembered limbs of your career, and bring you back to life even stronger.

That or you’ll just be dead I guess.

Sometimes you just keep rolling ones

The dice hate me! It’s fixed! I always have the worst luck! Somebody put a weight on the 20 and it always lands on a 1! Actually, I wanted to roll 1 because I just think it’s way better for the game, and actually I’m not entirely devastated about that result even though the failure means my character falls down a chasm and is irretrivable for 4 hours…

So many excuses! We’ve heard them all before sheesh.

Thankfully though, like in D&D, you can always try again, y’know, depending on what happens obviously, and maybe then you won’t roll a 1!

That or you’ve just got shit luck.

Exactly what you thought wouldn’t happen, definitely will happen, exactly 100% of the time

Oh hey there Mr friendly NPC would you mind at all if I could please ask for som… YEP THE NPC WAS A SHAPESHIFTED EVIL WIZARD AND NOW I’M HIS SEX SLAVE.

Every single time. Really should work on incorporating less sex slavery into my D&D campaign writing…

Just prepare for the unexpected ok. Always be on guard. Or en garde, if you’re french or canadian… or french canadian.

Winning is hard.

No shit though. Winning stuff takes planning, hard work, luck, skill, practice, and most importantly, the attempted resolution of all the screw ups everyone inevitably makes along the way.

Hey, I get it, sometimes we all step on a poison dart trap because we didn’t figure out what the code to disarm the trap meant. It HAPPENS. Stop wallowing in the dungeon corner talking about how nobody wants to hang out with you now you have a contagious and fatal blood disease and FIGHT THAT DISEASE. Sure  they told you it’s ‘incurable’ but blind optimism and relentless medication will sort that right? RIGHT!?

Ok so over dramatic metaphor there…

We all screw up though, we all need luck. But if you don’t put in the effort, the practice, the work and learning beforehand, you’ll never be able to take advantage of those opportunities, or those lessons from mistakes.

No matter how good you are, the campaign doesn’t end when you defeat just one monster, who knows what’s in the next room…

Yours mistakenly,

Chris

Top 5 Worst uses of Business Slang

Right, guess I’d better action this article then. Hope you guys give me some actionable feedback so I can make sure this blog is scalable and will deliver you an end to end experience…

Made me a bit sick in my mouth writing that but there’s a lot more where that came from. Ah the bane of many a marketeer’s life; business slang. There’s so much of it and I don’t understand why. The words literally mean the same thing as other, well, normal words. Maybe I’m just jealous when other business people flex their business slang muscles in business meetings, how they exclaim profusely about the benefits of blue sky thinking, and how they just can’t wait to roll out the next end to end 360 marketing campaign. Oooo look I’ve got a business boner just writing that sentence! Better start thinking about talking normal words to normal people in a normal conversation to calm that rager down…

Let’s get this thing going anyway, it’s a top 5 list for a reason! Clickbait. I mean, quality reading…

I’ll start with the quick wins…

Quick Wins

Just like normal wins, but quicker.

360 Feedback

Picture the scene: you stand up, arms out and immediately start rotating on the spot. “GREG DID AN AVERAGE JOB AT DESIGN AND I FIND HIM MORALLY REPREHENSIBLEEEEE…” you scream as the rotations go faster and faster, slowly creating your own field of gravity. Desks begin to orbit and in a final scream you implode under the sheer inertia of your 360 degree feedback POWERRRRRR.

Holy shit that actually sounds pretty god damn cool…

Bandwidth

What’s my bandwidth? I’m 56k. I make those funky dial up noises when I work and everyone hates me, I like to call myself the modem kid. Pretty cool right.

Oh right you meant can I get your project done in time. Gunna be a solid NO on that one, I just don’t have the TIME.

Action, or actioning… things.

A word used in place of the very difficult phrase ‘to do’, or ‘yes, I will DO that’. I often wonder how many of these high level execs incorporate business speak into their real lives accidentally:

“Oh darling please make sure you grab the lube before you action me tonight.”

“Oh I’ll action you alright, I’ll action right all over your face…”

Gross.

Blue Sky Thinking

Guess what people; the sky isn’t even blue really it’s just THE WAY THE LIGHT REFRACTS THROUGH THE ATMOSPHERE AND HOW WE INTERPRET THAT WAVELENGTH WITH OUR EYESSSSSS. We interpret it as blue just to clarify, hence the explanation.

Blue Sky Thinking really just sounds more like a third party company who just bored everyone with a 4 hour powerpoint about cohesive business synergy.

Double gross.

Summary… or should I say, to square the circle

Nope, I should really not say that, just leave the circle alone already. He’s nice and smooth and round, not like that square you’re trying to make him into. Stop forcing all geometric shapes to be the same, sheesh. His name is Geoffrey Rotund FYI.

“And what would Geoffrey Rotund do!” I hear you cry! Well, if there’s one thing to take away from this whole thing it’s definitely this; next time you’re in a tricky situation or going through a conundrum in life just ask yourself: “Is this scalable, and what is the scope.” Failing that just buy it on a wrist band to remind you, or just kill yourself.

#ITSAWITS

Yours scalably,

Chris

The Rise of the Casual Board Gamer

It’s here you guys, the plague of casual gamers is here! Shield your eyes and protect your newly born children from the horrors that are about to unfold!

Well maybe it’s not so bad. I mean, I’m totally a casual gamer, which I can imagine you think is fairly weird for someone who has just started a board games blog. It’s like if someone fancied having a go at being the President of the United States without actually being particularly involved in the politics of that country… oh, wait.

So I’m the Donald Trump of board game blogs is that it? Harsh, that I’d tar myself with that brush. Although it does turn out that I’m incredibly discriminating towards certain coloured meeples…

It’s the green ones! They’re too green! I know your mind went somewhere else! Shame on you!

One paragraph in and I’m already conflating choosing coloured meeple with bigotry. BAD JOKE DUDE. We need to focus on something FAR more important here, and something INCREDIBLY… probable, going on in the board game world. THE RISE OF THE CASUAL GAMER. Here’s my take on the reasons why it’s happening:

Reason 1: People are actually playing board games again

Holy shit no way! I mean yes way, sure it’s obvious, but for some strange reason in a world of abundant and incredible technological advancement, a large quantity of millenials who were probably bullied in some capacity at school (as was I), have flocked to the joys of moving little wood and plastic tokens around a cardboard surface for several hours. For fun. AND voluntarily.

What is the world coming too eh?

I mean probably something quite nice but then the aforementioned Donald doesn’t do much to quell my fears on that front. He’s clearly been playing too much of [that board game where you build walls to stop people from taking their turn], you know the one! Aaaah there’s a boardgame for everything nowadays…

Reason 2:  Casual games are like, actually quite good now

Kittens that blow up! Fights that are super! Humanity on some cards! Yes, even a game where you pitch fake startup business ideas to try and win fake investment from your douchey startup friends.

They’re all over the place, and subsequently all over Kickstarter. I mean… the other way round but yes, there are lots and lots and lots.

And what better way to spend an evening! Stop sitting around watching some emotionally disturbing reality dribble seep slowly and cruelly towards your eyes out of the TV. Instead, grab a card game about blowing up domesticated felines, engage a small portion of your brain, and try to screw over your friends by shitting on their dreams of blowing you up by means of gaffa taping some C4 to Mr. Tibbles. It’s a no brainer! Literally. Like, if you watch reality TV, you actually have NO BRAIN.

Reason 3: People just can’t be arsed to play long games

I GET IT guys, really I do. I’m the same, my attention span is zero. I’ve tabbed away from writing this article like 10 times since I started. It makes my writing really disjointed as well.

And when he sat down it was like oh my gosh. I can’t believe it’s not butter.

Is what I said when someone asked if I wanted to play a new board game the other day, it’s true! It really wasn’t butter. It was a game.

What I’m trying to say is come on guys, this game really takes 4 hours? No thanks, give me a card game where I can make everyone laugh with offensive jokes that other people have written and then take credit for it myself. Now THAT’s something I can buy into.

Reason 4: Can’t actually think of any more reasons

Yeah, I mean, top 4 is better than top 3 right. Sure.

Summery

It’s winter you idiot I mean SUMMARY.

So as you can see, the rise of the casual gamer is upon us! Yes, it’s a tumultuous world with twists and turns, where even the strangest things can happen. The Donald only uses white meeple (probably), we’re playing with miniature wooden pieces more (definitely), and board games are not butter (easy mistake).

But all of that is a GOOD THING. I salute those casual gamers amongst you, we have no room for elitism. Nobody should be judged because they don’t want to spend 4 hours of their life being humiliated by their friends in an unfulfilling and meaningless military campaign that ultimately ended in an existential crisis, but instead we should welcome all board gamers into our midst, casual and hardcore alike.

Yours casually,

Chris